School And College
I wasn't one of these girls to get a boyfriend through school like most of my friends did I hated school and didn't really feel like I fitted in.I was shy and quiet and got bullied a lot but when I went to college I met my first boyfriend at 18 and at the time I was happy. I guess I got caught up in the whole I've got a boyfriend now but didn't really know how to go about it if that makes sense? It didn't last we never really saw each other and mostly spoke on msn and that's how he dumped me.
I have joined other online dating apps in the past such as Tinder but I never found anyone on them or most just wanted sex....anyway I met my 2nd online on a site called meetme I cant remember the year, he lived in London and I live in Essex so it wasn't really ideal. I was so happy and thought I'd found the one but it didn't last long and he dumped me by text yes text message!. The relationship itself was just shit we never really spent time together and when we did it was always with his friends it just felt like he didn't care (he probably didn't). I have learnt so much from it this relationship made me feel out of place and really awkward like I couldn't be myself.
I met my last boyfriend at volunteering in 2013 and we got together in 2014 we spent as much time together as possible the first few months were good. After we'd been together a year he ended it which was so unexpected. We did so many things together and I was very happy with him but it just didn't work out how I wanted. If I'm honest I did feel awkward sometimes when we used to see each other at volunteering I never really spoke to him or kissed him in front of people, I think I was worried about being judged or doing something wrong.
I felt pressured into having sex in my past relationships and that's why they ended because they didn't want to wait but I don't see why it matters? why should anyone do something they're not ready for or comfortable doing?. If it was the other way round I'd be patient and wait for them to be ready if you really loved someone you'd wait right? I'm 27 now and still a virgin and sometimes it bothers me because I wonder if I'll ever have sex. I know it probably isn't the end of the world but sometimes I really do worry if I'll ever find love and actually do it. I want to talk about it but I don't know who to talk to. I know there's probably others out here to who are in the same boat as me so I guess I shouldn't feel alone.
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