Friday, 26 August 2016

Being 25 And Having Fragile X

I've posted 3 posts about Fragile x and it's really hard because I never know what to write as I've covered most in my other posts and while I like sharing my experiences,thoughts and issues trying to write about it gets difficult.I asked for help from Becky who is the CEO at the Fragile x society she sent me questions I could use to write this post so thank you Becky!. I've probably mentioned the same things as to what I've written before but I just wanted to write about it again as it's a part of me and I like to know I'm helping others in someway.

Being Tested.
I was 8 years old when I was tested back in March/April 1997/1998 I don't know how they came to getting me tested for Fragile X anyway I had a MRI scan that showed normal I moved about a lot which probably didn't help! the blood test came back as normal and the letter saids I am Fragile X positive which means approximately 10% of the cells are positive for Fragile X. I was at primary school at the time and had a difficult time there I was behind on my work,hit the other kids.My mum has a letter that I damaged a ball in PE and would miss out of playtime (don't recall this) school was hard for me I didn't have many or any friends. I found the work hard and was always behind my parents thought I was either Dyslexic or had dyspraxia.

What Is Fragile X?
Fragile x syndrome is a genetic condition it is the most common known cause of inherited learning disabilities. It affects around 1 in 4000 boys and men, as well as 1 in 6000 girls and women.Fragile x is a gene that causes fragile x syndrome is found at the end of the x chromosome and shows as fragile site on the chromosome when viewed microscopically.It looks as though it is breaking off but its not quite separated it is this fragile site on the chromosome that gives its name to the syndrome. Learning disabilities occur in almost all boys with fragile X, to differing degrees and some boys have severe learning disabilities although this is rare. It effects girls differently they usually have milder learning disabilities than boys but this is not always the case. Some girls with Fragile X Syndrome may be clinically unaffected.My grandad had it (who's sadly passed away) my mum is a carrier and passed it to me.

Trying To Explain My Disability.
I'm 25 now and I was diagnosed with Fragile x at 8 I'm aware I don't look like I have a disability and explaining what Fragile x is to people is difficult when most haven't heard of it.When I meet people I avoid eye contact,get anxiety/worried when dealing with issues such as interviews etc. I'm also not the most sociable person either and I'm not a fan of parties I feel awkward and out of place and plus I don't drink #yucky. when I do try and explain it people don't understand which is difficult sometimes it's not the seaside thing to explain. When I first meet people I'm shy,quiet and withdrawn and find it hard to engage with people/make conversation.

I hated school as well it wasn't my best time at all I was bullied and I just found it difficult especially maths and most other subjects. I didn't have a lot of friends either to be honest no one really wanted to be my friend and so I was just left out and lonely. I got picked on a lot by this girl called Lisa who called me troll and I just took it and did nothing about being bullied. If I did tell the teachers it never got sorted and they were all useless anyway I was SO glad when I left. I liked college I did a few courses to help with employment (weren't much help) and a computer course I made friends on all but unfortunately they aren't my friends now.I find it hard to concentrate as well I fiddle,I look around the room,play with my hands or bite my nails.I'm quite sensitive and I get upset easily or I am a lot more moody when it's my time of the month :( which is the most annoying thing ever. I have been told I have a good sense of humour and a lot people say I'm funny and quirky.

Things I've Overcome.
I have been volunteering at Each for 5 years now and it's made a real difference to me I have gained more confidence and become less shy. I am now able to talk to customers,help them and I've made new friends and we have a laugh. When I first started (back in November 2010) I wanted to quit I felt so out of place,awkward I didn't really know what to do and I just kept myself to myself. I overcome my issues and fears and I stuck at it and while I am glad it wasn't plan to stay for 5 years!. I recommend volunteering in a charity shop at first it's daunting but you'll make new friends,learn new skills and gain experience and it also looks good on your CV. I have gained more experience and confidence since being unemployed and going to interviews but I still need a job which is frustrating but I am trying to believe in myself.

Thanks for reading and if you are affected by Fragile x or know someone who is then leave a comment :)

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Feeling Fed Up With Everything

It's hard to stay positive and upbeat all the time while trying to find a job it's becoming so tedious and I really am losing hope. I am fed up of looking,applying and constantly getting turned down or not even hearing back. I feel like I'm just going round in a vicious circle and it also gets annoying when people keep saying something will come up don't give up yada yada yada urghhhh. Things aren't meant to be this way and I feel so behind when all I hear about is people getting jobs/or promotion,moving out,getting married or getting into relationships etc etc and then there's me.......

I feel isolated and lonely at times too because I don't really have a lot of friends which is one reason I want a job to meet people but that's not happening. I want to do so many things such as go away and learn to drive but I can't because I need money but no one will employ me. I'm so fed up and sick of things now all I do is the same thing day in day out. Everyday is just the same for me I'm always bored I really don't know where I'm going wrong?.

I really am trying my best but now it's just getting to the point why am I bothering? what's the point? this is never gonna happen and I should just give up now. I know there's others in the same boat but it's not fair I just want a job and a chance is that too much to ask? I can't go on like this anymore I hate it and I hate feeling like this :(. Why did things have to be this way? why can't be the one who gets a job and is able to do more things have fun and not have to worry or feel fed up with life.As much as I like volunteering my plan wasn't to be there this long (5 years) it has helped me a lot with my confidence and becoming less shy but I JUST WANT A JOB NOW PLEASE I just want something good to happen for once.

I know my life is far from bad and I rarely complain but all I want is a job but it just doesn't feel like it's going to happen anytime soon I am applying for as many jobs as I can and trying to have a bit of hope  but it's difficult. It also feels like people don't understand what it's like and just tend to say the same garbage that a job will come long and to be honest I've heard it enough now. It's hard to find things to do when you're unemployed everyday is just the same and most days I'm bored.It also gets annoying when people constantly ask have you got a job yet? ffs no!.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Natural Collection Dusky Pink Blusher Review

I am always looking for a decent blusher some are quite over my budget I'm not made of money here and I can never find the right colour some are too pink or some aren't pink enough etc. I mean I don't want to be looking like coco the clown lol so I looked at natural collection and found this one and it's just the right shade for my skin tone not too pink and not clown looking. It was only £1.99 (as is the whole collection) super affordable, super pretty and it lasts all day which is a bonus!. This blush is called dusky pink I'm easily led by a funky name #oh dear. Anyway this blush is from Boots the only place you can get natural collection products they've recently expanded their collection with new stick highlighters (they're really good) and a new brow kit. I recommend buying natural collection if you're on a budget or just starting out with make up.

Thanks for reading.

Monday, 15 August 2016

20 Reasons Why I Should Be Employed

1.I am hardworking.

2.I am eager to learn.

3.I want to gain more skills.

4.I am reliable.

5.I have lots of retail and customer service experience.

6.I am keen to take on new opportunities.

7.I want to meet new people.

8.I'm honest.

9.I have a lot of customer service knowledge.

10.I am interested in progressing my career.

11.I am motivated and ready to get stuck in.

12.I have good communication skills.

13.I am committed.

14.I am passionate about learning and gaining more skills.

15.I am responsible.

16.I am friendly,polite and helpful.

17.I am able to work as part of a team.

18.I am confident and keen to gain more.

19.I am energetic.


Thanks for reading.

Friday, 12 August 2016

Job Hunting Update

As a lot of people know I'm still looking for a job and I thought I would write an update on how its going. I have been to a couple of interviews but never heard back and it's so frustrating :( it's the same with applying and not hearing back I know many others apply too but I would rather know. Most companies don't respond these days and that's just how it is. I look everyday and try to apply for what I can the last interview was at Sue Ryder and I've not heard back I really do hate it when I have some hope and it gets crushed because I'm left hanging.

I try to be positive about 98% of the time but sometimes things get to me like they are now and I think am I ever going to get a job? am I just destined to be unemployed? why can't I get given a chance? where am I going wrong? I really don't understand all I want is to prove that I can do things. I really do want to work but it's not been easy I've been put on many courses, seetec (very crap) Shaw Trust they were helpful but I still don't have a job.

All I see on Facebook is people going from job to job, getting  married, making babies etc etc and I can't even get ONE bloody job it's so annoying and frustrating because I want to work I don't want to be going to the poxy jobcentre forever. I've been going there for ages on and off but I just want the day to come when I NEVER have to go anymore. There's so many things I want to do learn to drive, go places, move out one day (not yet) and meet new people why can't I have that? why can't I have a job? why won't anyone employ me? I just don't understand anymore where am I going wrong? why do things have to be this way?. It really does get to me because I want to work and there are so many people out there who don't and just bum off the government but I don't want to do that I want to earn my own money.

Thanks for reading.

Thursday, 11 August 2016

Lush Creamy Candy Bubblebar Review

I'm a huge fan of the sweet scents at Lush and this creamy candy bubblebar is right up my street! I love the colour pink and of course the sweetness of it I just want to eat it! haha but don't. I like the little flower in the middle. It contains cocoa butter for softening and conditioning,almond oil which is hydration for skin and hair and fair trade vanilla absolute which is sweet and comforting. It has a velvety texture and smells like candyfloss and sweets. The bright pink stands out and if you like sweet scents then this bubblebar is for you!.
I love bubblebars because they make so many bubbles from such a small piece broken off (that's if you make it last which I think is better than using it all at once. This bubblebar costs £2.95 which I think is reasonable for a bubblebar. The sweet candyfloss raises your mood and perks you up if you're feeling a bit down. It's easily crumbled under running water and turns the water a nice pink colour. I'd recommend this creamy candy bubblebar if you like sweet smells but if not then it's not for you. I like the name of this bubblebar and I'm drawn to it for the colour,smell and overall appearance.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Lush Blackberry BathBomb Review

My parents bought me this bathbomb when they'd been away and I loved it so much I've repurchased it and I thought I'd do a review. I love the blue and the word bomb written on it I like that it can help with depression and anxiety which is good as a lot of people suffer from it. This bathbomb contains frankincense oil which is sweet and woody,bergamot which is uplifting and cleansing this contains 9 ingredients altogether. It turns the water a nice purple colour and smells really nice. I do recommend this bathbomb but the only thing is you get purple all around the bath. This bathbomb costs £3.35. It fizzes for ages and make the water a nice deep purple colour.

Thanks for reading

Thursday, 4 August 2016

11 Relatable Girl Problems

After writing a post about periods I thought I'd wrtie one about the problems girls face more or less everyday hope you like it or if you relate leave a comment.

1.Periods why do I have to bleed every month? and having to buy tampons/pads are just so expensive

2. Shaving such a chore and razors cost an arm and a leg.

3. You straighten or curl your hair you go out and then it rains= frizz.

4. Spots in such stupid places.

5. Your nail painting skills look like they were done by a 3 year old #fail

6. Forever losing bobby pins,hair ties,hair clips etc.

7. Deciding weather to wear make up or not or when you do and forget and rub your eyes.

8. Never having anything to wear *has full wardrobe of clothes*

9. When you run out of your fave make up and have to wait till payday #help

10. Going bra shopping is just so boring and bras are expensive #whoinventedbras

11. Guys they're just a pain.

Monday, 1 August 2016

30 Relatable Period Thoughts

1. You are moody a week before you're even due on.

2. You crave sweet or savoury food or both.

3. You cry more about things.

4. One little thing can piss you off.

5. You get tummy cramps/pains/aches.

6. Living in leggings/lounge wear/PJS/hoodies.

7. Going make up free because you can't be bothered to make an effort.

8. Constantly eating or thinking about food, food is basically your best friend.

9. You're either hot or cold or in between it's so annoying!.

10. You feel much less motivated to do anything.

11.Your boobs/nipples hurt/vagina aches.

12.You crave chocolate chocolate and more chocolate.

13. You hate your life.

14. Ugh why do I have to go through this?

15. Who invented periods? #yousuck

16. You're more emotional and get upset at things.

17. Don't talk to me come back I need a hug go away.

18. People are annoying.

19. I don't know what to eat.

20. Men are arseholes.

21. Why do I have to be a girl?

22. Periods are stupid.

23. I don't want to get out of bed.

24. Do I smell down there?

25. Have I leaked?

26.Always feeling uncomfortable.

27.Why are tampons/pads so expensive?!? I'm not made of money!.

28.I'm tired.

29.When's this gonna be over?.

30.Go away!.
This is just a funny/relatable post hope you like it.

Thanks for reading.