Friday, 20 May 2016

Comfort Zones

Comfort zones are called comfort zones for a reason and while most people probably don't mind getting out of there's I for one am afraid and always try to avoid getting out of mine but lately I've been trying to do more things that involve going to new places etc.

I was on a college course for 2 and a bit weeks and this somewhat scared me it was the unknown meeting people I didn't know finding the college was also a issue me and my mum went to find it the day before and it was miles (we went the long way) I got upset with it and panicked that I wouldn't be able to get there and tried to back out of doing the course. I got in contact with Dan from Shaw Trust who helped (he's the most helpful) and he walked me there and the 2nd day Andrew from the job centre met me at the bus park and walked with me and after that I felt less worried about finding it.

It was daunting going to a college I'd never been to before but I went, I did it and I only really had one day where I felt down and things got bit much for me.I find it hard asking for help with things because I'm shy but I told myself I have to ask it doesn't matter how small or big it is just ASK you will feel better,I did and I felt reassured and less worried about things.

I have an assessment day coming up soon to do with my college course and it's being in groups of people I don't know and again this does worry me as it's out of my comfort zone I have been asking for help more with things. Yesterday I tried to ask Shaw trust but they weren't helpful at all because I don't go anymore but I thought I could ask for some advice but no they palmed me of to the job centre who did help me.I do have people  in my life that actually want to support me and help me with things so I am not alone and I am grateful for that.I asked Jane from Fragile X and she has got me some information on being in groups so fingers crossed that will help,I have also asked one of my old advisers at the job centre and she is running a group session soon which I'm hoping to go on.

I've never really been an outgoing or very sociable girl but since I began volunteering back in 2010 I have gained more confidence and come out my comfort zone, also the same with having a Xmas job at M&S last year 2015 I went to Chelmsford 4 days a week and that was out my comfort zone but I did it!. Over time I think I have improved and I am taking up all opportunities I get because they might not come along again and I don't want to miss out. It's not easy getting out of comfort zones and most of us have places where we feel safe and happy so when it comes to going to other places/doing other things it makes us worry about how to deal with it and feel anxious as it's all new things that we've not done or been to before.

Having a disability does make it harder as I am shy and quiet so being in a room full of strangers terrifies me and I say nothing. So I am trying to put myself in situations that normally make me anxious but I know I have to do them and overcome my fear and worries because I probably can do it I just need some courage and a kick up the butt!. Meeting new people and starting a conversation is my worst nightmare but I can do it, I just have to be myself and it will be ok. I've managed to stick at volunteering for the past 5 years and I have had Xmas jobs which I have got through, learnt things,gained more skills etc. I am glad I've done these things because I wonder where I would be now if I hadn't started volunteering or had Xmas jobs (a permanent job would be great now please and thank you!) I have gained more confidence in myself and I do feel better about myself than I did.

Going to restaurant used to be hard for me when I was with my last bf I'd never been taken out to restaurants and so most of the time I felt out my comfort zone and out of place. He took me to Jamie's Italian and I hated every second of it,it wasn't for me,I felt uncomfortable and just wanted to go home. I am probably better now but sometimes I still feel out of place,I can't help and I don't want to be this way but I think it's because I'm shy and am not really into going to fancy places. Even then I'm not very talkative but I do try and I know I will get better but for now it's not a big deal.

My 10 tips on getting out your comfort zone.

1. Just be yourself.

2.Take things slowly there's no hurry.

3.Talk to your friends/family about how you feel they will understand.

4.Give any opportunities you get a try you never know what it will bring.

5.Don't give up on yourself no matter how long things take.

6.Don't worry about what others think just concentrate on YOU.

7.Take chances

8.Try to face your fears.

9.Be excited for the unknown.

10.Be confident in yourself and tell yourself that you CAN do it and things will be ok!.

Thanks for reading.


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